#83 - Phone Call From the Rheumy

I got a phone call about one week ago from my rheumatologist.

My insurance company turned down the first request for the clinical trial chemo.

No surprise there.

My doctor told me he has already sent articles to the insurance company to show the efficacy of lupus treatment, thus far, through these clinical trials.

That was tagged with the statement that if this doesn't work out, the FDA will probably approve this drug for treatment in a couple of years.

Woohoo.

I feel greedy.

I want to be better NOW... not in a couple of years.

I worry what waiting a few more years may do. Some of the fdamage from the lupus... can it be reversed when you go into remission?

Making myself miserable over all of this.

It's the letdown after having some hope that there is an end in sight.

This is the second clinical trial letdown for me.

I do not feel like trying for a third.

This is too gosh darn depressing.

I have been feeling like a blackhole of misery lately.

I am having more trouble with carrying on a simple conversation. I get frustrated because I look like I am not paying attention, or I can not articulate my thoughts.

I prefer to be alone, because then I do not have to struggle with the demands of communicating.

And after just writing the above...

that is not completely true.

Little Bear is home with me now full-time. School is officially out after a half day tomorrow. I enjoy being home with him and having his little friends playing here at the Cozy Cottage.

It's grown-ups that expect more from you conversationally.

And now I am rambling...

Other news...

My Mom (age 80) has not been feeling well.

Please pray for her.

One of my sisters was diagnosed with lymphoma on Tuesday.

Please prayer for her.