This entry is a continuation from:
HOW DO EMOTIONS AFFECT YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM?
Last week we left off with creating a list of stressors and sorting them into three categories or “baskets” if you prefer.
Basket A = anything that you have absolutely no control over
Basket B = anything that you have some (but not all) control over
Basket C = things that are in your control
Each of your baskets will have a different job to do.
Basket A is in many ways the most difficult group of stressors that we must face. These are the things in life that are simply not in our control. With lupus, or any chronic disease for that matter, we must face an inordinate amount of situations that we simply can not control.
Some of these out of control stressors are events that physically healthy people may not encounter.
Personally, I find the lack of predictability to be an ongoing stressor that I fight against… which only increases my stress… and thus directly impacts a lupus flare.
Here’s an example from just this past week.
We had one of my nieces staying with us for the weekend. I had been very happy to have her visit and was eager to attend Sunday Mass with my family.
Sunday morning comes through, I am up on time… but things did not move as planned.
My dog (who is meticulously house broken) had a rug accident; totally not normal for her. I immediately became concerned that she might be ill. I also needed to clean up the pee.
But, then problem two occurred:
Our water pipes had frozen overnight leaving us without water until my husband could get out the propane burner, go outside and get the pipes going again.
So that’s kind of stressful for any household. But, that little amount of stress tips over the apple cart for someone like me. The mere tasks of cleaning up the rug, worrying about our dog and getting the water going sapped my strength.
Added on to that, I had an ingrown toenail that got infected over the weekend.
No big deal for your basic healthy person; a very big deal for an immunosuppressed lupus patient. Probably due to having one infection, I had woken up Sunday morning with chest congestion, more than the usual malaise with fatigue, a sore throat and problems with my eyes.
So by the time everyone was getting fixed up with breakfast (which my husband took charge of)… I was already wiped out.
I decided to just lie down for a few minutes to rest up.
This was still an hour before we had to leave the house.
The next thing I knew, my husband was gently waking me up to give a good-bye kiss and to let me know that everyone was on their way out the door to go to Mass!
I had fallen into a deep, deep exhausted sleep after only being up for 90 minutes!
And I never truly was fully awake for the remainder of Sunday. My body felt like lead, and the fatigue was so heavy that carrying on a simple conversation with family took its toll.
That day was a BASKET A stressor.
All of my huge plans to go out to church, maybe even out for a bite to eat afterwards, and spend a nice day visiting with my niece at our home were shot.
You have choices to make when you have a BASKET A day like the one above:
1. You can choose to burden yourself with guilt.
2. You can choose to push yourself harder to follow through with all of your plans.
3. You can let go (and forgive yourself if the guilt lays heavy)
The proper way to cope with BASKET A stressors is #3… to let go.
Having a deeply rooted spiritual life helps a great deal in coping with BASKET A stressors.
I do not presume to define any one else’s spiritual journey.
I am going to tell you, though, that having a source to gather strength from is going to help immensely. Especially in times of trouble.
So here’s one way for beginners to start coping with that list of BASKET A stressors.
Create a God box ( or a higher power box).
When those out of control things happen write the stressor down on a little piece of paper and put it in the box. When you put the stressor in the box, be determined to let go… really let go of it.
You can do this exercise in your mind, but there is a significant difference in making this exercise physical.
Remember my analogy of the three legged stool:
BODY
MIND (EMOTIONS)
SPIRIT
Placing the paper into the God/Higher Power box integrates the three aspects of your self.
You are engaging your mind, you are engaging your spirit, and by including the physical exercise… you are also communicating to your body that you are letting go.
It may sound a bit silly to some of you, but look… it certainly can’t hurt.
Try it for one week and see if you start feeling better.
NEXT TIME : TAKING CONTROL
copyright 2008, Loretta Kelly, M.S.W.
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