#19 - Day #8 of Mabel the Migraine Monster

I am on day #8 of Mabel the Migraine Monster .

You can read about Mabel in my Life with Lupus Archives here:(http://journals.aol.com/lrttklly/LupusLeftovers/entries/202)

Mabel is a cluster migraine that is associated with active lupus.

I think she hangs around too much.

She is being so naughty that my vision is blurring and I have a terrible time expressing my thoughts verbally. But, for some amazing reason, I can write fluently. THANK YOU GOD!

The migraine pain is crazy making.

I had to see my PCP (Primary Care Physician) on Saturday morning. Wanted to just do a quick physical and make sure we were on base with the cornucopia of medications that I am prescribed.

Good idea to have someone on my medical team keeping an eye on me.

I was feeling defensive about having to go.

I am still often in "pre-lupus" mode when I visit physicians. Before lupus, my symptoms were dismissed. I was not really listened to and certainly was not taken seriously.

It took a skin biopsy and a cluster of observable symptoms over the course of a looong time to confirm that I am not a hypochondriac and that the physical suffering is very real.

So I went in feeling the old pre-lupus chip on my shoulder, and instead was treated respectfully... but, I got "The Look".

Ellen and I often referred to "the look" as she battled against the ovarian cancer.

Medical people take you very seriously now. And they get that gently kind look on their face. It's scarier than not being believed. Because "the look" means "I know you are really, really sick and unfortunately I am very limited in what I can do for you."

So I got "the look" on Saturday and a quick refill prescription for the migraine/pain medication.

I also got an updated tetanus shot.

The lab person who gave me the injection gave me the lecture on how my arm was really, really going to hurt for the next few days.

I had to laugh about that.

It aches a little, but good grief, what I wouldn't give to only live with a little achy bump like that everyday for the rest of my life.

A tetanus shot doesn't hurt when you have chronic pain.

It is nothing.

This migraine, on the other hand is one of my stumbling blocks.

When I hurt this bad, I am weak and shaky from the non-stop pain. I get sick to my stomach a lot.

When the medications kick in... the pain does not stop... the medications turn it into background noise. It is still there, but I am sedated so it does not bother me as much.

And I hate feeling like that, because I have to lie down (or fall down), and I am dopey. I don't feel like very good company. I get disorganized and I have trouble speaking. Conversations are exhausting.

This is magnified this week as I try to arrange for Little Bear's first big "Kids' Birthday Party Bash". We are renting bowling lanes and going all out this year for him. This is what he really wanted, and I have to do all the phone calling and such.

So I was on the phone a lot today and am now a drooling idiot in a world of hurt.

Hubby is bringing dinner home, none of the chores are done here, and I feel about ready for bed right now.

Whoopee.

I need Mabel to go take a vacation in Iceland or something.

You can learn more about lupus headaches here:
http://www.lupusmn.org/Education/Articles/HeadachesandSystemicLupus.htm